Sorry to have fallen off the blogging train. So much has happened in the last couple of months that I became more than a bit sidetracked. When I last wrote I was having serious physical challenges and was deciding what to do about my full time job. Well, the challenges persisted and I decided not to return to my job.
I’m working with a life coach, Lisa Dalton. Her web site is www.rockyourlifecoach.com (check her out, she’s fabulous!) She made a very astute observation. She said “Dinah, it seems like you need to make a decision between making a living and making a life because you don’t have the physical strength to do both!” That was a pivotal statement for me. As much as I valued my work, I had to admit that she was right. I was a vocational counselor for people with disabilities. I sincerely enjoyed my clients. However, my physical stamina at 45 is not what it was at 25 and it was time for a change. She then said something like “Dinah, the choices and decisions here are pretty simple. They’re not easy, they’re simple when you look at them honestly.” –Another pivotal statement! ‘Simple’ and ‘easy’ are vastly different concepts that I/we routinely confuse.
Yes, I needed to leave my job so that I could take care of and rebuild my body and preserve what I have. That was pretty clear to anyone who knew me. However, as simple and clear as that choice was, it was not at all easy. My job was part of myself definition. It was part of me. Leaving it felt like I was walking away from part of myself.
I found myself wondering about what many people with life changing disabilities wonder about…
“What will I say to people when they ask me what I do for a living?”
“Will people think I’m lazy?”
“What will I do with my time?”
…and on and on….
Well, I’ve been off of work for about 3 months now. Job number 1 has been about healing. I’m no good to any one unless I take care of myself. I’m exploring my options with my life coach. I’m opening up to the possibility that I can be more than my previous definition of who I thought I was. I’m big on reframing things in my head when I realize a thought doesn’t serve me. Why look at myself as “less than” because I needed to make a life change? Why not see this as an invitation from Universal Wisdom to shed previous limiting definitions and become “more than”!! I’m more than a job title. I’m more than a self imposed definition. I/WE are possibilities in motion when we allow ourselves to be that!
I invite you to open up to your own possibilities regardless of where you think you are in life. You too are more than your self-talk and so much more than your current definitions of who you think you are. Possibilities abound for all of us when we can open our eyes and say yes! –It’s so simple and practicing it can make it easier every day.
Blessing to you!
dinah
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Happy New Year!
Dear Friends,
Happy New Year! This year is starting out with a new book to celebrate and some old challenges to contend with. Doesn’t everything start as a mixed bag of old and new? It has been said, “where ever you go, you take ‘you’ with you.”
Well, I’m starting another year taking ‘me’ with me. I’m currently on medical leave from my job of 18 years. I need to decide if I have the strength to continue with full time work or not. Truthfully, I never planned on leaving work on disability. Winning the lottery, starting my own business, finding an oil well all seemed like good alternatives to full time employment but not disability. But my body and Universal wisdom may have other plans for me. Between fatigue, weakness and periodic bouts of trigeminal nerve pain I seem to be running out of steam.
Anyone with a disability grapples with their plans being trumped by the Universe’s (or the Divine) plan. There is fear, sometimes terror in this process. I’ve been experiencing bouts of this myself. Yesterday when weakness (related to medication I took for the nerve pain) made me question whether or not I could put my dog’s dinner dish on the floor safely without falling, I had an impossible wave of terror. My ego was panicking and screaming “Oh my God, am I falling apart?”
That was my cue to stop!! Stop panicking, stop thinking, and stop my head from running foolishly in energy wasting circles that only deplete what energy I do have. I got on my exer-cycle and repeated my daily affirmation to busy my silly brain with something productive! I’ve been repeating this affirmation: “I am whole, healed, healthy and strong. My arms and legs are strong and I walk with ease, and grace and joy!” This affirmation helps me to calm down.
Then today I had an insight into the fact that I am lacking in love and compassion for my physical body. Judgment and fear come so readily when my body doesn’t respond the way I want it to but I realized nothing is healed by judgment. When we want to “grow” something whether it’s a plant, a project or a person, love is the only thing that nurtures growth. Have you ever seen a person respond favorably to criticism? So why would our bodies? I’ve known this at a surface level for years but today something clicked at a deeper level. Today I realized I had to do more than SAY I loved my body. I have to really DO IT!!! I have to love my body when I don’t feel good, when I don’t feel strong, when I question my own abilities….If I really want to be whole and healed I have to love first!!!!
So I’m taking ‘me’ into this new year but my goal is to do it with love. I want to love first and leave judgment and panic behind. For all of us life and healing are journeys that are taken a step at a time. Perhaps this journey will enable me take a healthier path and learn to have love and kindness be my ‘default’ thought toward my body and toward everything else life has to offer.
I hope you’ll consider being more loving toward yourself and your own healing path as well. Try it and see what grows for you too.
Until next time…
In the light
Dinah
Happy New Year! This year is starting out with a new book to celebrate and some old challenges to contend with. Doesn’t everything start as a mixed bag of old and new? It has been said, “where ever you go, you take ‘you’ with you.”
Well, I’m starting another year taking ‘me’ with me. I’m currently on medical leave from my job of 18 years. I need to decide if I have the strength to continue with full time work or not. Truthfully, I never planned on leaving work on disability. Winning the lottery, starting my own business, finding an oil well all seemed like good alternatives to full time employment but not disability. But my body and Universal wisdom may have other plans for me. Between fatigue, weakness and periodic bouts of trigeminal nerve pain I seem to be running out of steam.
Anyone with a disability grapples with their plans being trumped by the Universe’s (or the Divine) plan. There is fear, sometimes terror in this process. I’ve been experiencing bouts of this myself. Yesterday when weakness (related to medication I took for the nerve pain) made me question whether or not I could put my dog’s dinner dish on the floor safely without falling, I had an impossible wave of terror. My ego was panicking and screaming “Oh my God, am I falling apart?”
That was my cue to stop!! Stop panicking, stop thinking, and stop my head from running foolishly in energy wasting circles that only deplete what energy I do have. I got on my exer-cycle and repeated my daily affirmation to busy my silly brain with something productive! I’ve been repeating this affirmation: “I am whole, healed, healthy and strong. My arms and legs are strong and I walk with ease, and grace and joy!” This affirmation helps me to calm down.
Then today I had an insight into the fact that I am lacking in love and compassion for my physical body. Judgment and fear come so readily when my body doesn’t respond the way I want it to but I realized nothing is healed by judgment. When we want to “grow” something whether it’s a plant, a project or a person, love is the only thing that nurtures growth. Have you ever seen a person respond favorably to criticism? So why would our bodies? I’ve known this at a surface level for years but today something clicked at a deeper level. Today I realized I had to do more than SAY I loved my body. I have to really DO IT!!! I have to love my body when I don’t feel good, when I don’t feel strong, when I question my own abilities….If I really want to be whole and healed I have to love first!!!!
So I’m taking ‘me’ into this new year but my goal is to do it with love. I want to love first and leave judgment and panic behind. For all of us life and healing are journeys that are taken a step at a time. Perhaps this journey will enable me take a healthier path and learn to have love and kindness be my ‘default’ thought toward my body and toward everything else life has to offer.
I hope you’ll consider being more loving toward yourself and your own healing path as well. Try it and see what grows for you too.
Until next time…
In the light
Dinah
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Welcome to the Chasing Normal Blog
Dear Friends,
Welcome to the Chasing Normal Blog. We’re a work in progress, learning as we grow. Let me give you some background. A few years ago I wrote a book designed to provide help and support to the newly disabled. Being a disabled adult myself, with a full-time job, my energy levels are limited. Consequently, the task of publishing the book once it was finished became quite daunting. It sat as an oversized paper-weight on my desk for quite a while.
I remember saying out loud to God one day, “Well, I wrote it. I did my part. If you want it to get out there you need to help make it happen because I’m tired.” That was my less than eloquent way of giving it to God. But, I don’t think God requires eloquence, just an open heart with clear intent.
I had read a book by Joe Vitale titled “Zero Limits”. In this book, Joe describes a therapist named Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, who healed an entire ward of mentally ill criminals without seeing any of them professionally using a technique called Ho’oponopono. In June of 2008, I saw that Dr Hew Len was doing a Ho’oponopono workshop in Iowa. I felt I had to be there, HAD to go. So 3 of my friends and I drove the 6 or so hours to the training venue and deepened our understanding of this really beautiful process.
While we were there, a gentleman (Jim) came and sat with us and started talking. He too had been at the training. The subject of my oversized paper-weight came up and he suggested I offer it as an e-book.
–“A what??” I asked, totally lost (All of our family technology talents went to my siblings). I didn’t know what an e-book was. He explained it and later offered to help me make it happen. When I asked him why he was offering to help a total stranger, he said that he was trusting his instincts, trusting the direction he felt he was getting. He didn’t know he was answering my previously mentioned clumsy prayer… but in very short order, I did.
Ho’oponopono says we’re either living from memory (a very stuck place) or from inspiration. We need to clean the memories so we can be open to inspiration. When we’re acting on inspiration we go to trainings 6 hours away. We sit down and talk to people and make connections that are life changing. Inspiration can come in ways and at times we’d never expect!!
Chasing Normal started as an e-book. The printed version will be available Dec 21, 2008. But we’re not stopping there. Our goal is to connect with the disabled community and with rehabilitation professionals through webinars and other training modalities to support people with disabilities in their journey and to provide the professionals in the field with support in their processes as well.
I’m new to the whole blogging thing but I’ll learn. I’m going to do my best to post regular updates on our progress. Check back for info on program development. I’m also going to include updates on my personal journey and personal musings on life with a disability. Whether disability is part of your experience or not, what we all have in common is that life is full of twists and turns. If we support each other and remember we’re in this together, there’s no limit to the good and beauty we can create in this world so desperately in need of conscious kindness.
Whether you’re a person with a disability or a professional in the field please share your thoughts with us. Let us know where the needs are and we’ll do our best to incorporate your ideas into our training programs. If we can’t fill the gap we’ll try to give you suggestions on where you might also want to check for your answers.
If you like what you see and would like me to come and present to your group let me know. We’ll try and work something out.
Let’s stay connected and enjoy the journey, remembering that all the “some days” we've been waiting for are built by every one of our “todays”. Let’s make every today something to be happy about!
Blessings,
Dinah
Welcome to the Chasing Normal Blog. We’re a work in progress, learning as we grow. Let me give you some background. A few years ago I wrote a book designed to provide help and support to the newly disabled. Being a disabled adult myself, with a full-time job, my energy levels are limited. Consequently, the task of publishing the book once it was finished became quite daunting. It sat as an oversized paper-weight on my desk for quite a while.
I remember saying out loud to God one day, “Well, I wrote it. I did my part. If you want it to get out there you need to help make it happen because I’m tired.” That was my less than eloquent way of giving it to God. But, I don’t think God requires eloquence, just an open heart with clear intent.
I had read a book by Joe Vitale titled “Zero Limits”. In this book, Joe describes a therapist named Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, who healed an entire ward of mentally ill criminals without seeing any of them professionally using a technique called Ho’oponopono. In June of 2008, I saw that Dr Hew Len was doing a Ho’oponopono workshop in Iowa. I felt I had to be there, HAD to go. So 3 of my friends and I drove the 6 or so hours to the training venue and deepened our understanding of this really beautiful process.
While we were there, a gentleman (Jim) came and sat with us and started talking. He too had been at the training. The subject of my oversized paper-weight came up and he suggested I offer it as an e-book.
–“A what??” I asked, totally lost (All of our family technology talents went to my siblings). I didn’t know what an e-book was. He explained it and later offered to help me make it happen. When I asked him why he was offering to help a total stranger, he said that he was trusting his instincts, trusting the direction he felt he was getting. He didn’t know he was answering my previously mentioned clumsy prayer… but in very short order, I did.
Ho’oponopono says we’re either living from memory (a very stuck place) or from inspiration. We need to clean the memories so we can be open to inspiration. When we’re acting on inspiration we go to trainings 6 hours away. We sit down and talk to people and make connections that are life changing. Inspiration can come in ways and at times we’d never expect!!
Chasing Normal started as an e-book. The printed version will be available Dec 21, 2008. But we’re not stopping there. Our goal is to connect with the disabled community and with rehabilitation professionals through webinars and other training modalities to support people with disabilities in their journey and to provide the professionals in the field with support in their processes as well.
I’m new to the whole blogging thing but I’ll learn. I’m going to do my best to post regular updates on our progress. Check back for info on program development. I’m also going to include updates on my personal journey and personal musings on life with a disability. Whether disability is part of your experience or not, what we all have in common is that life is full of twists and turns. If we support each other and remember we’re in this together, there’s no limit to the good and beauty we can create in this world so desperately in need of conscious kindness.
Whether you’re a person with a disability or a professional in the field please share your thoughts with us. Let us know where the needs are and we’ll do our best to incorporate your ideas into our training programs. If we can’t fill the gap we’ll try to give you suggestions on where you might also want to check for your answers.
If you like what you see and would like me to come and present to your group let me know. We’ll try and work something out.
Let’s stay connected and enjoy the journey, remembering that all the “some days” we've been waiting for are built by every one of our “todays”. Let’s make every today something to be happy about!
Blessings,
Dinah
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Chasing Normal: A Guide for the Newly Disabled
What would you do if you or a loved one woke up tomorrow with a disability? How would you cope if you couldn’t do what you loved best in your spare time? How would you know what to do if someone you loved needed your emotional support following the on-set of a new disability?
These questions are quite fear provoking and yet very real. Given that we have soldiers coming home daily with permanent disabilities, these questions are multiplying exponentially in our country.
Chasing Normal: A Guide for the Newly Disabled and Those Who Love Them provides a type of map and answers these questions and more. In this book Dinah Chaudoir Federer discusses "Talking about the ‘Big IT’", "Silently Screaming"-dealing with fear, "Feeding Your Spirit", "Releasing Resistance" and other easy to follow topics. It’s written conversationally rather than formally to make it less threatening.
Chasing Normal: A Guide for the Newly Disabled and Those Who Love Them is meant to help the newly disabled especially, and their families calm down, get centered and take their individual journey one step at a time. As she says in her book, becoming disabled is like being dropped in the middle of a foreign country and told to find your way home. Chasing Normal is meant to act as a compass on this often overwhelming path.
If you do a topic search you’ll see there are plenty of textbooks discussing the "issues", there are many written by parents, and there are some personal stories. Dinah's experience can tell you that the "average Joe" in crisis will not read a textbook. Concentration flies out the window when you’re terrified. Further, this same "Joe" won’t care about a parent’s theory or even others’ stories unless there’s some good, simple advice. Chasing Normal: A Guide for the Newly Disabled and Those Who Love Them will do this without adding to their overwhelm.
Dinah has worked in the field of rehabilitation for 20 years, and is currently a vocational rehabilitation counselor for the disabled. She was born with Charkot-Marie-Tooth (CMT), an inherited neurological condition that affects the nerves and weakens the muscles in the extremities, forcing her to walk with crutches. At age 35, she was diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia, which causes intense electrical shock-type pain in the nose, lips, and eyes. Consequently, she has unique insight into the experiences of those who grow up with a disability as well as what people go thru when they acquire a disability later in life.As a disabled adult herself, her on-going message is blunt and hopeful: THERE IS LIFE AFTER DISABILITY AND IT DOESN’T HAVE TO SUCK!!
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